Tacoma Tmen is a peer-facilitated discussion group. We use these ground rules and guidelines to create an open and supportive environment where diverse experiences and viewpoints can be shared.

Please note that meetings are exclusively for people assigned female at birth, who now identify otherwise. This includes any stage of physical or mental transition, including questioning. Potlucks, however, are open to everyone, including Significant Others, Friends, Family, and Allies.

If a facilitator asks you to leave the meeting, please do so immediately and without disrupting the meeting.  Do not rationalize or explain any comments or actions that led up to being asked to leave.  If you are asked to leave, it does not mean you are banned from the group, just that you are being asked to leave that particular meeting.

Confidentiality: What’s said in the group stays in the group.
  • Never out someone without their permission, even to another trans person.
  • Feel free to share resources outside this group, as long as it doesn’t out anyone.
Sensitivity & Respect
  • Acknowledge different gender and sexual identities, social status, life circumstances, and viewpoints.
  • Express yourself, but do so without putting down someone else’s experience.
  • Don’t talk about members who aren’t present. If you’re concerned about a member who’s not present, privately discuss it with a facilitator.
  • This is a sex-positive and body-positive environment.  No shaming allowed.
Speak with Care
  • Ask if it’s okay before asking someone a personal question, and respect their right to decline to answer.
  • Please do not ask others to disclose their birth name.
One Mic

Speak in turn, don’t interrupt, and minimize cross-talk.

Step-Up / Step-Back
  • Challenge yourself to participate
  • … or remind yourself to leave time for others.
Use “I” Statements
  • Speak from your own experiences; talk about yourself, not others, and avoid generalizations.
  • For example:
    • Good Example: “I’m not sure about getting bottom surgery.”
    • Bad Example: “I don’t know why anyone would want bottom surgery.”
Assume Good Intent

We are all here to connect, share, and support each other.

Romance & Dating

We encourage members to connect with one another. However, do not use Tacoma Tmen for “cruising”, hook-ups, or finding a date.

Take Care of Yourself

If you need to take a break, please do so. No judgments, no questions asked.  You can rejoin the meeting at any time. Bathrooms are in the corner, just past the water cooler.

Proceed with Humor

Take things lightly if you can. Laughter often helps.

Need someone to talk to? Call Trans Lifeline:

US: (877) 565-8860
Canada: (877) 330-6366
Trans Lifeline is a hotline staffed by transgender people for transgender people.