Tacoma Tmen is a peer-facilitated discussion group. We use these ground rules and guidelines to create an open and supportive environment where diverse experiences and viewpoints can be shared.

Please note: this space is exclusively for people assigned female at birth, who now identify otherwise, including folks who identify as male, men of trans experience, FTM, trans men, transgender, transexual, non-binary, genderfluid, genderqueer, trans masculine, agender, and questioning. This also includes any stage of physical, social, or mental transition.

If you have any questions about the ground rules and guidelines, please feel free to ask at any time.

  • What’s said at Tmen stays in Tmen.
  • Never disclose a person’s trans status or out someone without their permission, even to another trans person.
  • As long as it doesn’t out anyone, it is okay to share resources you learn about while at Tmen.
Sensitivity & Respect
  • Acknowledge different gender and sexual identities, social status, life circumstances, and viewpoints.
  • Express yourself, but do so without putting down someone else’s experience.
  • Don’t talk about members who aren’t present.  If you’re concerned about a member
    who’s not present, bring it up privately with a facilitator.
  • This is a sex-positive and body-positive environment.
Assume Good Intent
  • We are all here to connect, share, and support each other.
Speak with Care
  • Ask if it’s okay before asking someone a personal question, and respect their right to decline to answer.
  • While it is certainly okay to disclose your own birth name, please do not ask others to disclose theirs.
One Microphone
  • Take turns speaking.
  • Don’t interrupt.
  • Minimize cross-talk.
Step-Up / Step-Back
  • Challenge yourself to participate
  • or remind yourself to leave time for others
Use “I” Statements
  • Speak from your own experiences; talk about yourself, not others, and avoid generalizations.
    • For example, a bad ‘I’ statement would be, “People who don’t want to be on testosterone aren’t really trans”.
    • Instead, consider saying “Being on testosterone is really important to me.”
Romance & Dating
  • We encourage members to connect with one another.  However, do not use Tacoma Tmen for “cruising,” hook-ups, or finding a date.
Take Care of Yourself
  • If you need to take a break, please do so. No judgments, no questions asked.  You can rejoin the meeting at any time.
  • Bathrooms are in the corner, just past the water cooler.
  • Feel free to have some water, or make some hot cocoa or tea at the water cooler, just be sure to clean up after yourself before you leave.
Proceed with Humor
  • Take things lightly if you can. Laughter often helps.

Need someone to talk to? Call Trans Lifeline:

US: (877) 565-8860
Canada: (877) 330-6366
Trans Lifeline is a hotline staffed by transgender people for transgender people.