Tacoma Tmen is a peer-facilitated discussion group for people who were assigned female at birth, who do not identify as female. This includes those who identify as trans, non-binary, ftm, trans men, male, men of trans experience, transmasculine, genderqueer, genderfluid, agender, or are questioning their gender identity.
If you’re a cisgender ally (not transgender), or a trans person who was assigned male at birth (e.g. trans woman) looking for resources, please feel free to reach out and let us know how we can help.
Meetings
Tacoma Tmen hosts regular in-person meetings for AFAB trans and non-binary folks who are 18+. We also have periodic informal gatherings that are open partners, friends, and family.
In-Person Meetings
We host our regular in-person meetings on the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, from 6pm to 8pm. Meetings are strictly reserved for AFAB trans and non-binary people who are 18 years or older (people identifying within the spectrum mentioned at the top of the page.)
Meetings take place at the Rainbow Center (2215 Pacific Ave, Tacoma, WA 98402).
Meeting Format
Below is a brief overview of what our meetings look like. Some meetings will vary from this, but in general this is the format we follow.
1. Read Group Guidelines
We read the group guidelines, asking anyone who’s willing, to read a section or two. We recognize not everyone is comfortable reading aloud and doing so is not mandatory.
2. Check-Ins/Introductions
After reading the group guidelines, we introduce ourselves, stating our name and pronouns, as well as filling the group in on what’s been happening in our lives. This can take anywhere from 20 minutes to 1 hour.
3. Discussion
We open up the group to questions, discussions, or further exploring any topics that came up during Check-ins. Discussion topics can include anything including taking about a favorite show, game, or movie, but we prioritize subjects related to gender, sexuality, transitioning, mental and physical health, and community resources.
4. Wrap-up/Announcements
About 10 minutes before the end of the meeting, we open it up to announcements.
Confidentiality
Our meeting time and location is public knowledge.
However, we require that what’s said at Tmen, stays at Tmen. It’s okay for members to share general information that is discussed at meetings, such as resources, but it is Tmen policy that those attending meetings never share anything specific about individual people.
You should never share anything that might out someone without that person’s permission, even if the person you’re talking to is an ally or is also trans. Outing someone seriously jeopardizes a person’s safety, housing, and livelihood.
Group Ground Rules & Guidelines
Tacoma Tmen is a peer-facilitated discussion group, for people who are 18 years or older. We use these ground rules and guidelines to create an open and supportive environment where diverse experiences and viewpoints can be shared.
Please note: this space is exclusively for people assigned female at birth, who now identify otherwise, including folks who identify as male, men of trans experience, FTM, trans men, transgender, transexual, non-binary, genderfluid, genderqueer, trans masculine, agender, and questioning. This also includes any stage of physical, social, or mental transition.
If you have any questions about the ground rules and guidelines, please feel free to ask at any time.
Confidentiality:
- What’s said at Tmen stays in Tmen.
- Never disclose a person’s trans status or out someone without their permission, even to another trans or nonbinary person.
- It is okay to share resources you learn about while at Tmen, as long as it’s done without outing someone else.
Sensitivity & Respect:
- Acknowledge different gender and sexual identities, social status, life circumstances, and viewpoints.
- Express yourself, but do so without putting down someone else’s experience.
- Don’t talk about members who aren’t present. If you’re concerned about a member who’s not present, bring it up privately with a facilitator.
Judgement-free Space: We aim to create a space where members can feel safe to discuss personal topics such as sexuality, dysphoria, and body image.
Assume Good Intent: We are all here to connect, share, and support each other.
Speak with Care:
- Ask if it’s okay before asking someone a personal question, and respect their right to decline to answer.
- While it is okay to disclose your own birth name, please do not ask others to disclose theirs.
One Microphone: Take turns speaking. Don’t interrupt. Minimize cross-talk.
Step Up or Step Back: Challenge yourself to participate … or remind yourself to leave time for others
Use “I” Statements: Speak from your own experiences; talk about yourself, not others, and avoid generalizations.
- For example, a bad ‘I’ statement would be, “I don’t get why someone wouldn’t want top surgery”.
- Instead, consider saying “Having top surgery is really important to me.”
Romance & Dating: We encourage members to connect with one another. However, do not use Tacoma Tmen for “cruising,” hook-ups, or finding a date.
Take Care of Yourself:
- If you need to take a break, please do so. No judgments, no questions asked. You can rejoin the meeting at any time.
- The restrooms are single-occupancy and gender neutral.
- Feel free to use the water cooler to refill water bottles, make tea/hot cocoa, etc., Just be sure to clean up after yourself before you leave.
Proceed with Humor: Take things lightly if you can. Laughter often helps.